"Is Not Just Talking---But Learning to Listen"
Two people, sitting on a park bench talking about their kids, and daily
life. The conversation began to sound louder and more aggressive. Anyone
watching would have thought this was a positive conversation, but no one
could hear the entire talk. Both parties became overly frustrated and an
argument began around cutting each other off while the other is trying to
speak. How many times has this sinerio happened in your presents or with
you involved. If you look around, you will see this behavior is almost
accepted and is very common in many parts of society today.
Many think that communication is just talking and too often we forget that
the other half of the circle of communication is listening. Many of us
find, it hard to listen, as we were never really taught how, only told to do
so, as well it's not often within our society that we are truly listened to,
therefore we feel deeper needs to be herd. Listening is even important and
takes concentration on the message being voiced. To truly listen, we must
first shut off the self-talk, hear the message and think about it, then and
only then have we heard what was said.
I have notice that many people have an answer to what ever is being said
even before the sentence has ended. I have done this with friends and the
frustration level is draining at times. Many arguments were provoked and
hostility was the ending. This is not good communication.
When this type of sinerio exists, it seems that everyone wants to be heard
but no one wants to listen. From where I stand no one is being heard at all
and this leads to more anger and sometimes violence due to misunderstandings
of many given situations.
How many times, has someone you loved gotten into huge trouble, after you
had already told them this would be, if they didn't listen? I am sure the
numbers are very high.
Then, how many times have you had arguments with your spouse or friend, both
of you talked over each other and heard nothing the other was saying,
argued, and walked away believing the argument was resolved, neither of you
realizing that no one was heard at all?
Later, the same week, the argument began again, even more heated then prior.
This argument, that was settled a few days prior, was not truly resolved and
the tempers flew.
We have all seen many relationships brake up and homes destroyed due to
people not truly listening and communicating with each other. Even
sometimes our own, and the damage done is far from easy to repair.
Relationships destroyed, homes torn apart and love abandoned, because no one
would take the time and clearness of mind to actually listen.
Well then, we will need to ask ourselves, what is truly being heard, by any
of the parties involved in our relationships and situations we hold dear, if
anything at all. No one can listen and think of an answer at the same
time. Clarity of the message being send is needed, in order to find any
kind of true understanding of the message, that is being communicated. No
one can truly think of what was said and give a valid response, if they did
not hear all of the message presented.
To listen properly, we must concentrate on what is being said, with a clear
mind, then take a moment to think about what was heard before giving
opinions or answers. We will all need to be more aware of how we listen
and proper communication if we are ever going to Stop Abuse!
Wisdom For This Week:
10 Rules for A Good Day...
1. TODAY I WILL NOT STRIKE BACK:
If someone is rude, if someone is impatient,if someone is unkind...I will not
respond in a like manner.
2. TODAY I WILL ASK FOR BLESSINGS ON MY "ENEMY":
If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will quietly
ask to bless that individual. I understand the "enemy" could be a family
neighbor,co-worker, or a stranger.
3. TODAY I WILL BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT I SAY:
I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain that I do not
4. TODAY I WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE:
I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.
5. TODAY I WILL FORGIVE:
I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.
6. TODAY I WILL DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE,
BUT I WILL NOT DO IT SECRETLY: I will reach out anonymously and bless the
life of another.
7. TODAY I WILL TREAT OTHERS THE WAY I WISH TO BE TREATED:
I will practice the golden rule - "Do unto others as I would have them do
unto me" - with everyone I encounter.
8. TODAY I WILL RAISE THE SPIRITS OF SOMEONE I DISCOURAGED:
My smile, my words, my expression of support, can make the difference to
someone who is wrestling life.
9. TODAY I WILL NATURE MY BODY:
I will eat less; I will eat only healthy foods.
10. TODAY I WILL GROW SPIRITUALLY:
I will spend a little more time in prayer today: I will begin reading
something spiritual or inspirational today; I will find a quiet place
(at some point during the day) and listen to the Creator's voice!