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“Learning Real Strength is Learning Love!”
Some say it's physical, as in big, muscular, and tough. In other words to some strength depends on whether one can beat another in fights or lifting heavy objects. Then there are those who believe one who does not cry or show any emotion, is showing strength. Therefore if a person holds back emotions and pretends to not feel or have emotional reactions is srtong. Many believe it's in ones faith. Of course in their own respects all of these examples are shows of strength. But are they or any combination of them true human strength in totality?

Almost any body can become physically strong with proper exercise, food, and rest. As all of us know just how to hide our emotions and use them to manipulate and control. Anyone's faith works for them due to the belief, and can become stronger with nothing but that belief in whatever one believes their greater power is. Along with good morals and ethics, as well more time spent within thoughts of love, God and prayer, growth becomes strength.

Lets take a look at physical strength. Say I have always been able to clear a room upon getting into a fight or have been able to lift one hundred pounds of silver right off the floor, with one hand. This, most people, would look at as strong, and it is but this strength is poorly physical. Even though I have huge strong mussels and a real mean punch, how easily do I get angered or frustrated? So I have mental strength enough to control this physical strength? Many people I have met with great mussels shape and strength, also have strong tempers, are easily frustrated and show little or no emotional balance. What if I am short tempered, highly emotional, and get out of control at the drop of a dime, but can kick the hell out of five guys at once. Am I balanced within my strength, or just physically strong?

Then take the person who shows no tears, anger, or any emotions. After a while of this type of emotional behavior leads to not caring and then heartlessness. We have found that people who close or hide their emotions from themselves also close emotionally to all of humanity. These people will eventually become incapable of feeling anyone else’s tears along with their own. Then how strong is it to only take what you want, and throw away the rest because it makes you frustrated, sad or angry, and you don’t want anyone to know you are so weak that you react to emotional experiences. Is that not what an emotionless person is doing? Is being separated emotionally from all others, {which renders one dis-compassionate}, a true sign of strength?

Now the person with such faith but hides themselves behind closed doors, away from the many in order to remain pure. To have such a gift and not share it with others, who may be in need, is this strength? What of the preacher who preaches to others to do what they feel they are too important to do themselves. Is this not Hippocratic? Or those who have this faith and use it as an intimidation, {you will burn in hell if you do no listen}, or stand in Judgment of those who have not, is this truly strength? Faith is only strong when it is real and dos none of the above. Even the strongest of faiths needs physical and mental{emotional} strengths to be properly balanced strength.

All of the above are shows of strength. All three strengths combined add up to proper human strength. As humans we were given the component of thought {the human brain}, as well as all the animal strengths and faith. God entrusted us with this, in order for us to be the caretakers of all else on earth. Not to dominate and Control, but to discipline with truth, tough love and compassion. Therefore our true strength lies within our abilities to discipline ourselves in all areas of life, especially the way we allow ourselves to think.

For instance, we have all witnessed, someone whom we believed to be weak, do remarkable things that many people we believe to be strong, could never do. This was possible due to the fact that this weak person believed he/she could do it.

Another example, I see is within myself. When I was addicted to drugs, I believed I was one of the weakest people I had ever met. I was a complete mess, cried at the drop of a dime, lost my temper if someone looked at me the wrong way and I ran away from any sing of confrontation, {this was all due to my fear of pain}. I found myself to be very weak and shallow. Today, after being clean for over twenty years, I cry only when it truly hurts, I very seldom loose my temper, I smile and pray when someone looks at me the wrong way, and I stand up for mine and other people's rights on a daily basis. I realized that if I want to be respected then I had to learn to respect others and myself. I have been discipline my thoughts, which in turn, lead me to Self Love, and love for all God has created

What is self- love? Is it buying a new car? {One that you've wanted for years,} or getting the girl next door to marry you? Or going out to get loaded on your birthday? Or living in total comfort? Or spoiling yourself just because you can?


Self -love is something that most never truly learns to do. Many believe that if one gets up in the morning, goes to work, makes big bucks, and acquire all desired, they love themselves. Others believe that if they do what is expected of them and behave the way society wishes them to do, they love themselves. Then there are those whom have everyone chasing after them non stop they must love themselves, because everyone else does.


Loving yourself is actually learning how to and doing all the little things that keep ones body, mind and soul working together as God intended us to do, when we were created. Not one of these or even a combination of two will do. You must care for, discipline, and feed all three of these human features.


Our bodies need food, water, air, proper exercise, shelter, and clothing. By food I mean proper food with the vitamins and nutrients to keep us healthy and strong. Exercise is needed to de-stress our selves from daily routines and strengthen mooches that do not get used during our day.

Too often what we think is treated unimportant in the scheme of things. Not true, when in actuality what we think is more important then all the rest as our thoughts make us what we become. We are responsible for all of our thinking. In order to work properly we must train our minds to think in a caring, loving manner towards ourselves and all else as well as feeding it new information daily to exercise the brain mussels. Educating our minds is essential, as we need to know a great deal tin order to get through this life. Watching what we put into our minds is most important as whatever we put in there also has to come out.

Self Love and becoming as strong {physically,emotionally/mentally and spiritually}as we are able, is true human strength.

Are those whom are operating homeless facilities not abreast of the dangers of their own situations, or are they just turning a blind eye in order to rake in a good paycheck? Do they not realize that no one would be on the street just due to poverty issues? There truly is a great deal more to the story.

The Thunder Night Club was bought by Dixon Hall to be transformed into a hostel situation for men. This is placed directly within a community of solid family life. Young children that know nothing of homeless horrors, live, attend school and play in the parks of this neighborhood.

The community people are very upset and have good reason. We know that no neighborhood is without it’s own problems, but we need to realize that our family communities need special care and wisdom used during any planning and placing of homeless or any special care facilities, such as men’s shelters. You would not put a jail directly beside a elementary school, for very good reason. This same type of thinking needs to go into the planning of adult hostel or drop in situation. They need to be placed within communities where they can do the least amount or no harm to others.

There were many question asked at a community meeting last week. Are the Dixon Hall people able to truly answer them to the community’s satisfaction?

Questions like:

1. Is the staff at this facility, going to make sure that these men do not drink Listerine and Cheep Wines in paper bags, in the parks or on Danforth Avenue itself?

2. Are these staff members going to make sure that the pimps and drug dealers do not accost the community folk?

3. Knowing the state of the mentality of the homeless, are our children and women safe on the street at all with this situation happening?

4. What kind of permanent help are these men actually getting.

5. Who is going to take the responsibility for a child or woman, from the community getting attacked, molested or worse if it does happen?

Just to put forth a few, and there were many more.

I believe that we need homeless shelters but, where we put them is ultimately important, as well as seeing to it, that they offer what these people truly need as well as shelter. In the past our shelters have offered merely shelter and bare necessities, which was good, when we had no real solutions to the problem, but now that we know so much more about the reasons for homelessness, the abuses that made the situation so huge, and we do have information, care therapy and guidance to help heal the damage done, we need to reconstruct them all.

“We have all learned by now, that if one is abused and does not get proper care, therapy and guidance to heal from that abuse they --- WILL --- re-abuse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

This is the reason that many of our street people are continually in and out of jail for drugs, alcohol, violent offenses and assault charges. Also it is the reason that many homeless people are referred to as crazy, insane, and disturbed. An abuse victim’s reality, thinking patterns, and overall mental state is damaged severely due to the abuses endured. These problems must be attended to before any abuse victim can truly live within our family communities without hurting themselves and others.

In this light putting a Men’s Hostel within a community of young children is completely ridiculous. Due to their emotional illnesses, these men could very well abuse some of the community children along with themselves as they are highly self destructive. As well as that, I am sure that families walking down Danforth Avenue together on a Sunday afternoon, do not wish to see a few hundred men staggering down the street, or sitting in the park drinking Listerine or cheep Wine from a bottle in a bag.

Yes children do need to learn about these things sometime during their lives, but not as young children and babies and not on an every day consistent level.
Angel Femia

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